Hey, you!
I mean, Dear Kousei,
You were just here, and now I’m writing youa letter, kinda weird, right?
You’re a mess, you know that? You’re meek,and a quitter, and neurotic.
The first time I ever saw you, I was fiveyears old. It was at a recital for the piano school I went to back then. Youmarched out onto that stage, and then made us all laugh by knocking over thebench. You sat on that giant piano, and with the first note you played, theworld became more colorful. It was like you found a deluxe box of crayons onthe keys, and tossed them everywhere Suddenly, the girl next to me startsbawling her eyes out.
And now you’re gonna give it up? Like younever played in the first place? Hearing you that day changed my life, what doyou think of that?
So I switched, then and there, no regrets.
When I found out we were at the same middleschool, I was thrilled! How was I actually supposed to meet you, though? Buyegg sandwiches every day ‘til you notice me? In the end, all I could do waswatch you guys. You were friends, and I was some stranger. It wasn’t my placeto barge in, so I didn’t.
I had surgery as a little kid, but I’venever been totally well. After a bad fall in the seventh grade, I was in thehospital a bunch. Those hospitals stays got longer, bit by bit. I was hardlyever at school by then. Nobody said how sick I was exactly, but I knew it wasbad.
Then one night, I saw my mom and dad cryingdown in the lounge, when they thought I was asleep. That’s when I knew I didn’thave much time.
I made a choice:
I ran. And I didn’t look back!
I started living life exactly how I wanted,so I wouldn’t be all mopey in heaven. Contacts are weird, but I tried 'em.Tried eating a whole cake by myself too, because why not? Music that used toboss me around? I played it my way!
And then…I told one single lie.
Are you ready for it? Here it comes: “Kaorilikes Watari!”
Shocking, right? But I’m glad I told it. Afterall, Kousei, that lie brought us together.
Please tell Watari I’m sorry. Honestlythough, I’m sure he’s moved on to some other girl by now. That’s just who heis. When it comes to friends, he’s a great guy, but romantically, I wantsomeone sincere.
Also, please tell Tsubaki that I’m sorry.It turns out I was just passing through. I didn’t wanna leave a big messbehind, so I couldn’t be totally be honest with her either. Think of it:“Hey Tsubaki, be a pal and introduce me to Arima, would ya?” Thatwould have been a pretty messed up thing for me to ask for. I mean, everyonecould tell that Tsubaki was crazy about you. Even before we were friends, Iknew. The only ones who didn’t get the memo were you and her.
When my lie finally brought the two of ustogether, you were different than I’d imagined: stubborn, and passive, andpessimistic. Not to mention the fact that you stole my leggings. Your voice waslower than I thought. You were a guy, you know? And you were gentle, no surprise there.
Remember when we jumped off that bridge?The river water felt amazing. And the moon shining down at the music room, likewe could grab it on our tiptoes? When we raced that train, I really thought wecould win! Singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” with you late atnight felt kinda perfect. Being at school after dark, it’s mysterious, right?And snow, it looks like cherry blossom petals!
You must think I’m silly, finding wonder inthe everyday things around us, things I saw with you.
Isn’t it funny how the most unforgettablescenes can be so trivial, and vice versa?
So what’s the verdict?
Was I able to live inside someone’s heart?
And this heart, it wouldn’t happen to beyours, would it?
Do you think that…you’ll remember me alittle from time to time?
No hitting the reset button!
Don’t you forget me, that’s a promise,okay?
I’m glad we found each other.
Will I reach you?
I hope I can.
Here’s the truth, Kousei:
I love you!
I love you!
I love you!
Sorry that I never ate those canelés, andthat I beat you up so much. I was such a brat to you. I’m sorryfor…everything.
Thank you.
P.S. I’m giving you one of my favoritepictures. You don’t have to keep it, but I hope you do.
